The concept of being "basic" has been floating around for the past few years. This concept promotes the idea that an individual (typically young women) flock around the same simple and average joys that make them unremarkable, a cog in the consumer machine, and really easy to make fun of. The season of fall brings a massive spike in calling out basic bitches simply because there is a heavy concentration of basic things to enjoy (fall is just so magical). Right now, this spike is plateauing for the year. Considering I have been in higher education for almost a decade, I consider myself an authority on what constitutes basicness.
Basic Bitches:
Pumpkin spice anything
Instagram filters
Marylin Monroe quotes (you know, an assassinated president's mistress who was a drug fiend that died in a pool of her own vomit #inspiring)
Dream catcher, anchor, or infinity symbol tattoos
Motivational quotes over arbitrary nature scenes
Yoga pants without the yoga experience
Puffy vests
Ombre hair
Uggs
The fatuous fascination with these seemingly mundane objects/activities/icons makes women basic because it represents a sense of identity achievement. In less pretentious words, it means that the basic bitch is a woman like all other women. She doesn't stand out from the crowd or have her own unique identity.
But you know who else is basic? Men.
Somehow basic bros manage to fly under the radar and their assimilation to the group never seems to be a topic of conversation or public disdain. The male equivalent of being like everyone else is permissible, but the female side of things isn't. All things considered, history is very consistent.
Salmon colored chinos or shorts
Sperry's or any other manner of boat shoes (Iowa is known for its profitable yachting industry)
Snap backs
Flannel shirts
Adidas slide sandals and mid-calf athletic socks
Ironic and/or excessive patriotism
Themed parties
Gym selfies
Playoff beards
Vineyard Vines
I would like to believe that I have been on the forefront of disliking basicness ever since I was in high school. Until I was 18, I lived in a tiny town of about 2,000 people. My graduating high school class was about 60 people, and of that, only 7 or so went to (and completed) a college program. I went to school with a bunch of unremarkable assholes. My story of triumph is as inspiring as Hellen Keller's or Gandhi's. I've been on the vanguard of the Anti-Basic Brigade for years.
While I don't consider one any more or less irritating than the other, I do think it is necessary to highlight how vapid both groups appear based on their inherent need to fit in and be just like everyone else. I'm not saying these things can't be enjoyable. In fact, I have my own collection of colored khakis, Sperry's, and flannel shirts (TIL I'm a basic bro). But let's be real and acknowledge that you are all basic as fuck.
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