The Key to Creativity, Confidence, and Appeal

This past month I participated in what people in the makeup world call a "no buy." It is a predetermined amount of time, generally a month, where the makeup obsessed forgo purchasing any new makeup products. I had never done one before, but when I began to notice that I was buying new products simply for the sake of having them, it was time to reacquaint my slew of brushes with their elderly powder brethren. Also, I was really fucking broke because the holidays, combined with a delayed new year pay date, left me playing the part of the frugal adult. I started off really strong and closed out of full online shopping carts on many occasions. I even spent 45 minutes in Sephora without buying a single product, though that isn't to say I didn't want to. I had one misstep about 10 days before my month of self-imposed beauty embargo was over. Miley Cyrus released her Viva Glam limited edition lipstick through Mac, and based on Mac's habit of poorly planned releases, I had to nab it. That said, I forced myself to keep it in the package, unused, until the first of February. I will have you know that I accomplished my secondary requirement. Additionally, all proceeds of my purchase go to AIDS charity, so all y'all judgmental fucks can blow me.

Anyway, during this no-buy, I found myself reflecting on a question I had seen posed a few times before: is makeup feminist? I will settle this question, once and for all, with my unadulterated word-smithing abilities. In other words, lots of swearing and telling you want to do...ya' fuck.

The context of the aforementioned question comes from the idea that women who choose to wear makeup, do solely for the purpose of appealing to men's sole desire to put their genitals in our mouths, in hopes, that one day, they will decide that they want their genitals in only one woman's mouth for the rest of their lives. Nothing short of charming. Furthermore, it is asserted that makeup is intended to pander, placate, and force women into servitude to overpriced powders and creams in an attempt to express beauty, which is equated to value. I call bullshit on every fucking word in that previous sentence (the only exception being the overpriced part, Jesus H. Christ, that shit is expensive).

[Deleted]

You see that little deleted parenthetical statement up there? I found myself writing for a half hour an extensive diatribe about my concerns with certain types of organized feminism. When I finally hit a stopping point, I realized that I would rather not use my blog for heated, political leaning commentary. I would rather address social issues in a hilarious, yet scathing, manner. If you want to know my thoughts on feminism, you are welcome to sit through my hour long and certainly circular argument both for and against it.

Moving right along.

I wear makeup because makeup is fucking awesome. Sometimes I just identify with neon pink eyelids and fierce as fuck arches. Other times I want lips blacker than my heart and lashes longer than War and Peace. Being able to identify how I want to look from one day to the next is awesome. There are literally limitless combinations that form identities I can come in and out of with a few wipes of makeup remover.

Makeup makes me feel pretty. Wanting to feel pretty is neither feminist nor not feminist. It has nothing to do with feminism. It has everything to do with self-confidence and being a fucking rockstar. When I walk in to a room and everyone turns their attention to the woman with the blood red lips and perfectly symmetrical liner (I'm referring to me), I feel empowered. Makeup gives me the power to focus attention on myself (my favorite) and force others to acknowledge that they are now sharing oxygen with this badass. No one ever forgets my name.

Brace yourself for this one: makeup makes me attractive to other people. Once again, believe it or not, this is neither feminist nor not feminist. Wanting to connect with people on a social and intimate level by appealing to their aesthetic preferences is not an insult to my existence. In fact, it is 95% of the reason I am here writing this today: my ancestors fucked because they looked attractive to someone else. I have physical preferences in the opposite sex and it doesn't bother me in the least that they have physical preferences as well. I also have emotional and mental preferences but those don't seem to be nearly as pressing of an issue, by comparison.

That's really all there is to it. Makeup inspires creativity, confidence, and appeal. There is nothing inherently wrong with any of those things. Not wearing makeup can also inspire creativity, confidence, and appeal. Once again, there is nothing inherently wrong with any of those things. If you want to wear makeup, please do. Contact me for some solid recommendations. If you don't want to wear makeup, then don't. Spend your money on other cool things.

Don't let anyone else tell you how you should feel about makeup. Unless it's me, because I just spent an hour typing up a blog about why my opinion on the topic matters.